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Unique review of Gillete Fusion Razor...

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JesusLopezViejo
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Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Posts: 580
Location: Tri-State

PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:19 am    Post subject: Unique review of Gillete Fusion Razor... Reply with quote
Five (5) blades in a razor.

Some said it couldn't be done.

Others said it was impractical.

Skeptics claimed it would slice layers off your DNA, turning you into a half-razor, half-human monster.

Gillette told all of these people to go fuck themselves, and packed more razors into a commercial product, than I’ve ever seen before. (I would say more than ever, but I’m too lazy to do any actual research for this post, so I’ll just stick to my limited life experience, and say more than I’ve seen). They’ve released the Gillette Fusion, a monster of a razor which has five razors for normal shaving and an extra on the backside for getting into those hard to reach places, like under the nose or the roof of your mouth.

I fall into the fourth group of people – the ones who say “If there is a razor with more blades, then I am shaving with an inferior product, and therefore am not a man”. So, to retain my manhood I had to go purchase this amazing miracle of modern engineering. I picked up the electric model at a local Target, and put it through a gruesome 2 week torture test, making sure to evaluate every aspect of the product, so I could put up a comprehensive review, for your reading pleasure.

Actually, I just bought it, and shaved with it a couple of times. I used Neutrogena Razor Defense Shave Gel, and rinsed with ice cold water. Here are my findings:

Closeness (Razor-to-epidermis proximity assessment): Razor Defense leaves a rather thick and difficult to puncture layer of foam on your skin, which gives it its’ amazing skin protecting abilities. The Fusion is able to easily penetrate this layer, thanks to its armada of multiple cutting edges, which could likely shave the thick layer of arrogance, right off the Bush administration. After shaving with this blade, my skin is extremely smooth, with very few missed hairs and minimal bumps. Cleaning up areas missed to do heterogeneous facial hair patterns is quick and decisive, the antithesis of the war in Iraq.

Accuracy (Chromosome removal aka Down Syndrome healer): The razor was able to accurately cut all areas of facial hair. The normally difficult areas of side burns and under the nose were easily handled thanks to the razors rear-loaded single blade cutting utility. I would liken the razors cutting accuracy to Vice President Dick Cheney’s shotgun-pellets-to-78-year-old-man’s-face-and-chest accuracy.

Speed (Facial razor velocity measure): All shaving was completed in less than 3 minutes, excluding lathering and rinsing. I was very happy with the razors ability to handle hairs on my neck that grow in arbitrary directions, which normally give other razors a difficult time. If only Donald Rumsfeld could learn to plan for enemies coming from different directions…

Passes (Slicing apparatus corrective repetitions): No more than 2 long passes were needed to cover any area of facial hair. 65.4% of all passes were successful on their first try. 100% of statistics are made up. Minor corrective passes were needed for areas of extreme contour, but were limited to 3 swipes. Hopefully, George Bush will be limited to two terms as president.

Conclusion (Final ruling of Brobdingnagian importance): I would highly recommend the Gillette Fusion. Its impressive application of multiple razors has rendered my face a silky smooth plain, with minimal irritation and maximum effectiveness. Well thought-out ergonomics and its notable light weight allow the user to complete their shaving task with high levels of satisfaction.

Think of the Gillette Fusion as the opposite of the Republican Party, and you will see why it’s such a great product.
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corey michael
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Joined: 08 Dec 2006
Posts: 77
Location: Gulf Coast USA

PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Gilette puts (RFID) radio frequency identification into their products. nuff said.
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JaktheRipperKAW
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 10
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I used the Gillette Fusion to shave my pubes and made some less than nice remarks about Bush and my pubes and now I have the feds knocking on my door.
Damn, RFID sucks.
Plus,
I cut my scrotum.
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Guido
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Joined: 08 Dec 2006
Posts: 33

PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
This razor is truly remarkable, I myself bought it, and was very impressed. I have - although- only limited its activities to my facial area...
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jusdeadphunky
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Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Posts: 2218

PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 8:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
corey michael wrote:
Gilette puts (RFID) radio frequency identification into their products. nuff said.


RFID chips are the future and keep us safe. you should be thanking gilette.
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JaktheRipperKAW
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 10
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 8:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
jusdeadphunky wrote:
corey michael wrote:
Gilette puts (RFID) radio frequency identification into their products. nuff said.


RFID chips are the future and keep us safe. you should be thanking gilette.


SAFE?!
So, your definition of "safe" is the gov't being able to track everything that you do?
Or,
maybe your definition of "safe" is the fact that you have a chip implanted into your skin that has ALL of your information on it and can be read with a simple scanner, meaning that somebody could easily steal your identity.

RFID is another step towards a totalitarian society.
Each day, we draw nearer and nearer to a society that does not allow for free thinking and will. A society that Hitler, had he survived WWII, would be proud of. A totalitarian society that this nation is supposed to be fighting.

FUCK RFID.
We do not need that shit,
and I, and I know that most of you will agree with me, will fight RFID with all that I have.

How can you say that RFID "keeps us safe?"
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Tesla
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Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 41
Location: /root/home/

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 3:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
JaktheRipperKAW wrote:


How can you say that RFID "keeps us safe?"


It looks to me like he got "chipped" by Gillette and is afraid of the lynching he would recieve if he said bad things about them.
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PeaceLoveandRockNRoll
Known Associate
Known Associate


Joined: 08 Dec 2006
Posts: 300
Location: Richmond, IN

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
1) The fusion works pretty well if I shave every day, which, as a lazy college student, I don't.

2) Tesla's icon makes me giggle.
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little lai
Known Associate
Known Associate


Joined: 29 Apr 2007
Posts: 161
Location: lodi, CA

PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
your friend should pursue a career in creative writing.

this is very creative.
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Xerxes
Forum Elder
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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 1557
Location: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
JaktheRipperKAW wrote:
jusdeadphunky wrote:
corey michael wrote:
Gilette puts (RFID) radio frequency identification into their products. nuff said.


RFID chips are the future and keep us safe. you should be thanking gilette.


SAFE?!
So, your definition of "safe" is the gov't being able to track everything that you do?
Or,
maybe your definition of "safe" is the fact that you have a chip implanted into your skin that has ALL of your information on it and can be read with a simple scanner, meaning that somebody could easily steal your identity.

RFID is another step towards a totalitarian society.
Each day, we draw nearer and nearer to a society that does not allow for free thinking and will. A society that Hitler, had he survived WWII, would be proud of. A totalitarian society that this nation is supposed to be fighting.

FUCK RFID.
We do not need that shit,
and I, and I know that most of you will agree with me, will fight RFID with all that I have.

How can you say that RFID "keeps us safe?"


Welcome to LvC JaktheRipperKAW......
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Xerxes
Forum Elder
Forum Elder


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 1557
Location: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I have an RFID chip in my toothbrush. I makes me think a certain way. <Zombie-Like Voice> Buuush is Greattt....LoL
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shankarsingam
Veteran
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Joined: 09 Mar 2007
Posts: 512

PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I didnt like the fusion razor. Way too oversized for trimming around a beard.
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