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Jokes about dead babies. No really. Not for the weakwilled.

 
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Lester
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 11:14 am    Post subject: Jokes about dead babies. No really. Not for the weakwilled. Reply with quote
What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
No one cries when you chop up the baby.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.

What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
Dart-boards don't bleed.

Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
So you can see the expression on their faces.

Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
So that if its born dead they can make soup.

Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.

How many babies fit in a blender?
Depends on how powerful the blender is.

How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

How do you know when a baby is dead?
It doesn't cry if you nail its feet to the ceiling.

How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Pour gas over it and light a match. Woof.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out again?
With Doritos.

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off its head.

What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall?
Art.

What is red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.

What is blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?
Baby with slashed floaties.

What is red and yellow and floats at the top of the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.

What is pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.

What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

What is black and goes up and down?
A baby in a toaster.

What is red and goes round and round?
A baby in a garbage disposal.

What is red and swings back and forth?
A baby on a meat hook.

What is black and sits in a corner?
A baby with it's finger in a power socket.

What is black and white, runs around the room, and smokes?
A baby with his hair on fire.

# What is blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.

What is pink, flies and squeals?
A baby fired from a catapult.
What do you call the baby when it lands?
Free pizza.

# What is red and has more brains than the baby you just shot?
The wall behind it.

What is white and glows pink?
A dead baby with an electrode up its ass.

What is more fun than nailing a baby to a wall?
Ripping it off again.

What is more fun than throwing a baby off the cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.

What is more fun than swinging babies around on a clothesline?
Stopping them with a shovel.

What is more fun than shoveling dead babies off your porch?
Doing it with a snow blower.
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jusdeadphunky
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
lester, you have a sick, sick mind
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Xerxes
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Did you run across a book called "The Monstrous Compendium Of Dead Baby Jokes" LoL
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Lester
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
If you didn't laugh at those jusdeadphunky, I don't know who you are anymore.
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jusdeadphunky
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 5:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lester wrote:
If you didn't laugh at those jusdeadphunky, I don't know who you are anymore.


i didn't say i didn't laugh

i never got the dead baby jokes until recently. my friends like to tell them and i was always like wtf, until they told me that they only tell them to piss people off.
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ringwormbettie
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I love dead baby jokes! Laughing
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Lester
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
^^^^don't give the conservatives any more fuel^^^^^
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flyng_fool
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I used to love those jokes before I had kids. Now I have an entirely different perspective.
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Lester
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
The babies have faces and personalities so it's funnier?
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thelast007
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Joined: 27 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 2:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Shocked

"dead babies" and "joke" should be an oxymoron Confused
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Lester
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 4:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Says the person with the signature "a free lunch is only found in mouse traps"....
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jusdeadphunky
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 6:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lester wrote:
Says the person with the signature "a free lunch is only found in mouse traps"....


hahahaha
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